Old Clinton Barbeque, Gray GA ****

Edna Earl had been hearing about Old Clinton Barbeque for years, so when she happened to spy it along the roadside there one bright and sunny noonday, she was ecstatic! Well, truth be told, EE actually arrived about 11:00 AM, openin’ time. When she and her two lunch buddies entered the front door, they were immediately and warmly greeted by the three women behind the counter. And you know what happened after that – It wadn’t but about five seconds before Edna Earl and her party and the women behind the counter had figured out that they knew each others’ cousins’ cousins – or somethin’ like that. At any rate, the women behind the counter were most helpful and friendly. And not just to EE and party. EE saw the women similarly greet others who entered the place, and not at all in any obnoxious way. The women’s first offer was always to help the customer with the menu. And, you know, some folks do need help with a menu.

Old Clinton’s “BBQ plate” features, in a manner typical to other barbeque establishments around the South, barbeque, stew, bread, pickle, and choice of coleslaw or potato salad. And this is exactly what Edna Earl ordered. EE did find it interesting that unlike at many other BBQ establishments around the South, one does not get a choice of “chipped, chopped, or sliced” pork. All is one at Old Clinton – and it was what EE would describe as chipped.

Edna Earl feels impelled at this point to clarify for any non-Southern reader that the term “barbeque” always means pork.

Old Clinton also offers a “Rib Plate,” “Smoked Half Chicken Plate,” and “Turkey Plate.” Interestingly, the “Rib, “Smoked Half Chicken” and “Turkey” plates offer “BBQ beans” as a side rather than Brunswick stew. One in EE’s party ordered the ribs and beans, and liked them. In addition to the plates, Old Clinton offers a few other items, of course -- sandwiches, chips, slices of homemade cake, etc. -- but the aforelisted is what one receives on a “plate.” The only concession EE could see to modern times is the fact that Old Clinton now offers (with voiced apologies from the women behind the counter) the customer’s choice of “light, wheat, or rye” bread. They also serve, of course, tea – sweet and unsweet – and soft drinks. Old Clinton does not serve beer or wine.

Everybody who knows anything about Southern barbeque knows that each region – and each different BBQ joint – is distinguished by its sauce. Sauce at Old Clinton is the kind Edna Earl and her ilk describe as the “North Carolina variety,” thin and dark, applied at table. Sometimes this kind of sauce ill suits Edna Earl, but in this case, owing to the combination of the finely cooked meat with the particular quality of the sauce itself, Edna Earl approved. (It must be noted that Edna Earl’s lunchmates, both diehard Alabama Yellowsauce fans, only reluctantly approved, but we all know about those Alabama Yellowsauce fans, don’t we?!) All three in Edna Earl’s party just thanked god that there was none of that middle-Georgia “catchupy” sauce in evidence at Old Clinton.

With only seven tables, an interesting counter, and a couple of picnic tables outside under the portico, Old Clinton appears to be first and foremost a take-out establishment. Now, that is not to say that dining in was not a pleasant experience. It definitely was. A diner may browse the family photographs, the newspaper articles, the antiques and the other artifacts on display. There is no music; there is no television. A diner may engage in conversation with the women behind the counter as well as with other diners. One may even read and learn about that famous middle-Georgia legend The Goat Man. This is all to say that one may have a most pleasant dining experience at Old Clinton. However, Old Clinton is not exactly the kind of place one would go for, say, a romantic evening out or a prom night or even a ladies’ lunch. It is a place one goes to eat barbeque. Enough said.

So let’s just sum this whole thing up by saying that Edna Earl hereby declares Old Clinton Barbeque to be (You read it here first, folks!) – drum roll – THE REAL DEAL. Yessir, Old Clinton is the real deal. Yes, Edna Earl admits to the Styrofoam plates and the plastic utensils, but how else is a take-out BBQ joint supposed to function? And besides – one can always carry a little Old Clinton home and serve it with Grandma’s Chantilly on Great-Grandma’s Haviland. But, alas, in that case one would miss the opportunity to converse with the friendly women and read about The Goat Man!

Edna Earl says, “Visit Old Clinton soon. You won’t be disappointed.”

Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant, Columbus GA ****

Just go ahead and call ol' Edna Earl nerdy, but her current favorite place to have lunch in Columbus is Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant and Natural Food Store. Run by Seventh Day Adventists from out at Yuchi Pines Institute, Country Life is a combination health food store and restaurant. Up front you can buy bulk items such as granola, beans, and rices, along with lots of packaged organic products. There’s even a room of “herbal supplements,” which Edna Earl herself never enters. (She’s not into those health food items dispensed in medicine bottles.)

Toward the back of the place is the cafeteria style restaurant where for $5.95 one can opt for the “Entrée Special” (Edna Earl’s favorite) or a loaded baked potato, or one of two delicious soups of the day, or a fake burger or hot dog, or the terrific salad bar. The Entrée Special includes the entrée of the day plus the two vegetables of the day plus bread plus a small salad. The entrée of the day might be anything from Penne Pasta with Tomato Sauce to Taco Casserole to Nut Loaf (a mock meat loaf made with an assortment of nuts – Yum!) – and it’s all vegetarian and it’s all super-healthy – and best of all, it’s GOOD!

Now, let it be known right here that ol’ Edna Earl is not a vegetarian. She does love her vegetables, and she definitely does severely restrict her intake of red meat – out of health considerations as well as ethical considerations as well as simple personal preference – but EE definitely does not profess to being a vegetarian. However, this vegetarian restaurant has great appeal to ol’ EE. Why? Because the food is good, the portions are hearty, and ol’ EE feels that she can eat well and guilt-free at Country Life. No worries about additives, about bad fats, about empty calories … Just good, healthy food – and a goodly portion of it at a ridiculously low price.

The downside of a dining experience at Country Life? The background music. Yep. The folks who run this place are very religious, and they tend to play this creepy music. Now, ol’ Edna Earl does love her some Methodist hymns, and of course she loves herself some good ol’ Southern gospel – but the kind of “new-agey” religious stuff they play at Counry Life just ain’t EE’s kind of thing. Except that EE does admit that of late she has noticed that the music doesn’t seem to be getting on her nerves as much as it used to. Whoa! Did Edna Earl just hear herself say that? Is Edna Earl perhaps becoming INDOCTRINATED? CONVERTED?!? God forbid! Let us go rush out to Smokey Pig Barbeque right this minute!

Edna Earl does appreciate the solace of Country Life, though, and the sunny little dining room, and the fact that all sorts of other weird folks eat lunch there, too. Long live Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant and Natural Foods Store. Edna Earl loves ya!

Country's Barbeque, Columbus, Georgia ****

A home-grown Columbus business that has several branches scattered about, Country's is a regional institution.

For its fun atmosphere, for its live country and bluegrass music on Friday and Saturday nights, for its Southern vegetables, especially its collard greens (YUM!), for its giant rocking chair, for its HUGE baked sweet potatoes, for its hilarious television ads, for its annual Midnight Run for good causes, for its mile-high meringue, Edna Earl gives Country's Barbeque a well-deserved four stars.

Notice that EE didn't say anything about Country's barbeque -- yet. While Country's definitely is a barbeque place, offering beef, pork, chicken, and all the trimmins, every local person Edna Earl knows of will tell you something like, "Well, now, Country's is not my favorite barbeque -- ya know, I'm talkin' about just the barbeque now -- I like Smokey Pig's (or Macon Road 's or Fat Freddy's or ...) barbeque better-- but I love Country's anyway -- and I go there all the time. It's a great place to take company."

One thing Edna Earl personally loves about Country's is its choice of three barbeque sauces -- one red, one yellow, and one in between. These three sauces are very true to local tradition -- not that all places serve all three -- They don't. Usually a place offers only one. Country's gives you a choice, EE guesses, as a sampling of local fare.

The yellow mustard-based sauce, unfamiliar to some outsiders, is native to Phenix City, Alabama, located just across the Chattahoochee River from Columbus. And it's an acquired taste. Edna Earl knows a certain young woman who, when she brought her fiance home to sample "yellow sauce" and he didn't take readily to it, seriously considered dumping him on the spot. But said fiance did eventually acquire the required taste -- or, at the very least, he's doin' a good job of fakin' it -- and now, seven or so years later, the couple appear to be happily married.

Another thing Edna Earl likes about Country's is that, unlike most barbeque joints, Country's also offers a full array of vegetables, some good cornbread, some mighty fine fried chicken, and several spectacular homemade pies.

And all the above details illustrate what makes Country's unique among barbeque restaurants: It doesn't really focus on one distinctive pork recipe; instead Country's gives the customer a well-rounded "This is what we're about down here" experience. Thank you for that, Country's. Edna Earl'll be back many more times.

Marie's, Oxford, Mississippi ****

Mississippi Lebanese food, and excellent in this case. The six people in Edna Earl's party ordered all sorts of different dishes, and all were terrific. They had hummus, and stuffed grape leaves, and kebbeh (a sort of meat loaf), and a dish that was green beans and rice, and "Marie's casserole" (a little similar to moussaka), and baklava and Lebanese cheesecake, and Turkish coffee and several other dishes the names of which Edna Earl doesn't even know! (Edna Earl does love a mystery!)

EE understands that Marie's had a previous very successful incarnation in a building on the Courthouse Square, but that it has recently re-opened, after a several-year haitus during which time Marie, the Lebanese owner, went back to graduate school and got a graduate degree in math, somebody said. Oxford locals seem very happy to have Marie's back in business. We arrived about 11:30 AM on a Friday, and before we finished our meal the place was full.

The present location is a not very interesting building in a not very interesting strip mall. In fact, the strip mall location and a not very friendly waitress (We decided she was depressed.) are the only reasons Edna Earl is not giving Marie's five stars.

The interior of the place is tastefully decorated, with white tablecloths and white paper on top of the tablecloths. Marie's could work well for a "ladies' lunch" spot, or for a business lunch, or for a group of friends, or for a well-behaved family meal.

Oxford, Mississippi, already boasted a number of good eatin' places. Now it has one more. Thanks, Marie's, for an exceptional lunch.

Farmer's Market Cafe, Montgomery, Alabama *****

Located in the shadow of the Alabama State Capitol, the Farmer's Market Cafe is one of those places that make me glad to be alive. Yep, it's a winner -- for the scene at least as much as for the food. I mean, the food's fine, and some of it is really good, but it's the scene that steals the show. Housed in a long, low concrete block building, The Farmer's Market Cafe features one big dining room that seats probably a hundred folks. And those folks -- well, this is what makes the place so interesting -- those folks include scores of Alabama senators and representatives, lots of people who work in the various government offices, the guys who work in the nearby machine shop, blue-haired ladies from across town, and 'most anybody else -- maybe even the Governor hisself! The Farmer's Market Cafe is a veritable study in the population of Montgomery, Alabama. You'll find there the bluest of bloods, seated right next to the bluest of collars.

I did happen to notice that the clientele of The Farmer's Market Cafe is decidedly more male than female. While there were a few women customers, there were by far more men in attendance on the day we were there -- which leads me to wonder that if a woman were, say, looking for an Alabama husband, a few lunches at The Farmer's Market Cafe might not be a bad investment of time and money.

The arrangement of the interior of the place is a definite contributing factor to the scene. There are booths around the walls, but the backs of the booths are very low so that nobody's view is obstructed. There's absolutely no privacy in The Farmer's Market Cafe. There's no place for a couple of folks to hide and engage in an intimate conversation. No, no. Everything's completely out in the open. And I have a sneakin' feelin' that that's completely by design. The space in the middle of the room features a few big round tables that seat eight or people, but far more of the middle-of-the-room space is taken up with rows of rectangular four-top tables pushed almost together to make eight-tops, producing a result that winds up being more or less communal seating. There's a lot of friendly talk in The Farmer's Market Cafe, all of a decided Southern variety. There's talk among folks at individual tables, talk between the customers and the very friendly and capable waitresses, talk from table to table. And, I strongly suspect that, what especially with all the lawyers and politicos that frequent the place, The Farmer's Market Cafe is a place where, you know, "The deal gets did," if ya know what I mean. I could be totally wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that a good bit of Alabama law got decided in The Farmer's Market Cafe.

Here's a conversation we heard at the other end of our table where two three-piece lawyers were having lunch: The waitress walked up and one of the men introduced the waitress to the other man. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
Lawyer Number One: "Harold, this is Barbara Gordy. Barbara, this is Harold Dempsey."
Lawyer Number Two (Harold Dempsey): "Barbara Gordy? Nice to meet you, Barbara. Gordy? You kin to Al Dozier?"
Waitress (Barbara Gordy): "Yes. I married into the Faulkner side of the family."
Both Lawyers: "Oh, yes, sure." and "Uh-huh. I see. Yes."
At this point all three parties expressed complete understanding and agreement. The two lawyers seemed to know exactly what the waitress's comment had meant, and the conversation quickly moved to another topic.

I was intrigued.

The place is not pretentious. It has plywood paneled walls decorated with photographs of Alabama sports teams and athletes. There's a big map of the State of Alabama, and a replica of the Alabama State Seal. Hell, for all I know, it's the REAL Alabama State Seal! There's a hand-lettered sign at the beginning of the cafeteria line that reads, "Just hang up!" There's another similar sign at the check-out counter.


Now to the food: The cafeteria line serves an especially bountiful array of traditional Southern specialities, among them numerous homemade desserts. We had a blackberry cobbler that was particularly outstanding. Plastic, divided plates are the order of the day, and (thank goodness) stainless steel utensils and paper napkins. Pitchers of sweet and unsweet tea, and ice-filled plastic glasses (two each person, the reason for which I'm not quite sure) are brought to your table. A little surprise comes at the end of your meal when a waitress comes by to ask what flavor of ice cream you'd like -- on the house. We asked for vanilla and were each brought a little round, old-fashioned, cardboard container of vanilla ice cream.

So, for its food, for its friendly and capable waitresses, for its scene, for its "Hang up the phone!" signs, for its little free ice-creams, for its so proud display of the Alabama State Seal, I hereby declare The Farmer's Market Cafe a five-star institution. So said this nineteenth day of June, two thousand and eight. Long may the Alabama Farmer's Market Cafe prevail!

Durbin Farms, Interstate 65, Clanton, Alabama ****

Durbin Farms is a great place to stop and take a break from the road. A right spiffy produce market with a nice little soup/sandwich/ice cream cafe attached, Durbin offers plenty of space for you to stretch your legs in the produce market and on the expansive grounds before or after your meal. The place is locally owned and operated. There are picnic tables and lots of other places to sit outside as well as tables inside, so it's a good place for those traveling with dogs and kids to give some run-around time. Durbin's sandwiches are delicious, and the whole place most pleasant. Folks LINE UP for the ice cream. It must be good. (Alas, I love ice cream, but, ya know ...)

Go Durbin Farms! Wish there were more like ya!
http://www.durbinfarms.org

Oh, Durbin Farms is located between Birmingham and Montgomery, at exit 205 off Interstate 65. It's a little nearer Montgomery than Birmingham.

Po, West Village, Manhattan ****

Last night was Edna Earl's second trip to Po. Edna Earl likes Po. It's a bit costlier than what EE likes to spend for a meal (She dropped sixty bucks for two courses -- a salad and an entree -- and two glasses of wine.), but the food was good and the waiters were nice and she likes the European feel of the place, and she likes the neat little street, Cornelia, where Po is located. And every now and then, ya know, Edna Earl just loves a little session with a white tablecloth.

The "roasted guinea hen" was good and certainly not something Edna would fix (or even be able to buy) at home, so that was a treat for EE. Her other course was a beet salad. It was okay, but nothing she'd write home about -- and the greens of the salad were so unwieldly that they were impossible to wrangle into her mouth -- so she left 'em be.

EE understands that Po's real specialty is its pastas. She did not have a pasta last night, but she did have a pasta on my first visit to Po and found it superb -- better, probably, than what she had last night. So, Edna Earl will definitely go back to Po, soon as she saves up some $, but she'll likely order a pasta next time.

Oh, one thing about Po: She wishes the place had been a little quieter. EE's dinner partner and she could barely make conversation across our small table. But, it's New York, where finding a quiet restaurant is a challenge.

Caroline's, Apalachicola, Florida ****

In recent years Edna Earl has only eaten breakfast at Caroline's -- but what a breakfast! Their breakfast menu is amazing! There are so many offerings that EE can't begin to list 'em -- and each one sounds absolutely delectable -- too much for breakfast, really. Okay, on second thought EE will try to list some of what's on the menu: There's bountiful omelettes of all varieties, a number of other egg dishes (Benedict, etc.), homemade pancakes with tempting sides, fruits galore, homemade breads, grits, various seafood dishes ...

Okay, Edna Earl is going to do something she usually doesn't do. She's going to include a link to the menu:
http://www.apalachicolariverinn.com/breakfast.html

Now, see why Edna Earl is impressed?

EE's recent trip to Caroline's was with three other people. Each of EE's party ordered something different, and all loved their food. Service was great, too, and you can't beat the setting there on the shaded deck overlooking the very place where the Apalachicola River flows into the Gulf of Mexico.

At a table near EE's group were seated a party of Europeans who were obviously having trouble ordering in English. The waitress could not have been more helpful, and the European visitors left Caroline's with stories of a very pleasant American (and Southern) experience, Edna Earl suspects.

The only reason Edna Earl is not giving Caroline's a fifth star right yet is that in recent years she's only eaten breakfast there, and just the once. She's going to try to go back soon and have lunch or supper so that then she'll feel confident about that very hard-to-get fifth ol' Edna Earl star! In the meantime -- You go, Caroline's!

Xavier's, Piermont, New York ****

Xavier's is a decided step up for an admitted diner junkie. No diner, Xavier's -- non, non! Xavier's is tres shi-shi -- one of those places where you get many courses (I think I counted six.), of about a tablespoon of food each course. Impeccable service, interesting food, quiet, intimate setting -- definitely a fine place for a special occasion dinner, which mine was. I understand that one must make reservations months in advance. This was my second time at Xavier's. Shi-shi food is not really my thing -- not that I don't like it or am afraid of it -- but because it's often overpriced, over-wrought, frequently served by rude waiters in loud, overcrowded dining rooms -- but Xavier's completely avoids all those too-faddy pitfalls. Again, for a special occasion evening, Xavier's is pretty close to perfect.

Dojo, W. 4th St., Manhattan ****

Now, this is one of the very few places where I can stick to Weight Watchers core plan and eat good -- so I'm all about some Dojo. I had their "Vegetarian Special" that included brown rice, steamed vegetables, black bean soup, and Tahini dressing. But, one can also order all sorts of other dishes, and adult beverages, at Dojo. The prices are unbelievably low by New York standards -- $6.50 for some plates. I like the table opportunities, too -- you can sit outside, or inside near the window, or inside in a more enclosed space ... Dojo is just a few steps from the Angelika Film Center, so if you happen to be there and want a good, cheap meal -- pop into Dojo. Tell 'em Edna Earl sent ya.