Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant, Columbus GA ****

Just go ahead and call ol' Edna Earl nerdy, but her current favorite place to have lunch in Columbus is Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant and Natural Food Store. Run by Seventh Day Adventists from out at Yuchi Pines Institute, Country Life is a combination health food store and restaurant. Up front you can buy bulk items such as granola, beans, and rices, along with lots of packaged organic products. There’s even a room of “herbal supplements,” which Edna Earl herself never enters. (She’s not into those health food items dispensed in medicine bottles.)

Toward the back of the place is the cafeteria style restaurant where for $5.95 one can opt for the “Entrée Special” (Edna Earl’s favorite) or a loaded baked potato, or one of two delicious soups of the day, or a fake burger or hot dog, or the terrific salad bar. The Entrée Special includes the entrée of the day plus the two vegetables of the day plus bread plus a small salad. The entrée of the day might be anything from Penne Pasta with Tomato Sauce to Taco Casserole to Nut Loaf (a mock meat loaf made with an assortment of nuts – Yum!) – and it’s all vegetarian and it’s all super-healthy – and best of all, it’s GOOD!

Now, let it be known right here that ol’ Edna Earl is not a vegetarian. She does love her vegetables, and she definitely does severely restrict her intake of red meat – out of health considerations as well as ethical considerations as well as simple personal preference – but EE definitely does not profess to being a vegetarian. However, this vegetarian restaurant has great appeal to ol’ EE. Why? Because the food is good, the portions are hearty, and ol’ EE feels that she can eat well and guilt-free at Country Life. No worries about additives, about bad fats, about empty calories … Just good, healthy food – and a goodly portion of it at a ridiculously low price.

The downside of a dining experience at Country Life? The background music. Yep. The folks who run this place are very religious, and they tend to play this creepy music. Now, ol’ Edna Earl does love her some Methodist hymns, and of course she loves herself some good ol’ Southern gospel – but the kind of “new-agey” religious stuff they play at Counry Life just ain’t EE’s kind of thing. Except that EE does admit that of late she has noticed that the music doesn’t seem to be getting on her nerves as much as it used to. Whoa! Did Edna Earl just hear herself say that? Is Edna Earl perhaps becoming INDOCTRINATED? CONVERTED?!? God forbid! Let us go rush out to Smokey Pig Barbeque right this minute!

Edna Earl does appreciate the solace of Country Life, though, and the sunny little dining room, and the fact that all sorts of other weird folks eat lunch there, too. Long live Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant and Natural Foods Store. Edna Earl loves ya!

Country's Barbeque, Columbus, Georgia ****

A home-grown Columbus business that has several branches scattered about, Country's is a regional institution.

For its fun atmosphere, for its live country and bluegrass music on Friday and Saturday nights, for its Southern vegetables, especially its collard greens (YUM!), for its giant rocking chair, for its HUGE baked sweet potatoes, for its hilarious television ads, for its annual Midnight Run for good causes, for its mile-high meringue, Edna Earl gives Country's Barbeque a well-deserved four stars.

Notice that EE didn't say anything about Country's barbeque -- yet. While Country's definitely is a barbeque place, offering beef, pork, chicken, and all the trimmins, every local person Edna Earl knows of will tell you something like, "Well, now, Country's is not my favorite barbeque -- ya know, I'm talkin' about just the barbeque now -- I like Smokey Pig's (or Macon Road 's or Fat Freddy's or ...) barbeque better-- but I love Country's anyway -- and I go there all the time. It's a great place to take company."

One thing Edna Earl personally loves about Country's is its choice of three barbeque sauces -- one red, one yellow, and one in between. These three sauces are very true to local tradition -- not that all places serve all three -- They don't. Usually a place offers only one. Country's gives you a choice, EE guesses, as a sampling of local fare.

The yellow mustard-based sauce, unfamiliar to some outsiders, is native to Phenix City, Alabama, located just across the Chattahoochee River from Columbus. And it's an acquired taste. Edna Earl knows a certain young woman who, when she brought her fiance home to sample "yellow sauce" and he didn't take readily to it, seriously considered dumping him on the spot. But said fiance did eventually acquire the required taste -- or, at the very least, he's doin' a good job of fakin' it -- and now, seven or so years later, the couple appear to be happily married.

Another thing Edna Earl likes about Country's is that, unlike most barbeque joints, Country's also offers a full array of vegetables, some good cornbread, some mighty fine fried chicken, and several spectacular homemade pies.

And all the above details illustrate what makes Country's unique among barbeque restaurants: It doesn't really focus on one distinctive pork recipe; instead Country's gives the customer a well-rounded "This is what we're about down here" experience. Thank you for that, Country's. Edna Earl'll be back many more times.

Smokey Pig, Columbus, Georgia and Phenix City, Alabama *****

Okay, let it be said right now, and in no uncertain terms: SMOKEY PIG BARBEQUE in Columbus, Georgia, and Phenix City, Alabama, serves the absolute hands-down BEST barbeque sandwich in the world. In fact, it serves the QUINTESSENTIAL barbeque pork sandwich. Don't let anybody tell you different. Trust ol' Edna Earl. Or, if you don't trust her, go try a buncha other barbeque sandwiches. It won't be long before you'll find yourself trottin' your two little hooves right on back to The Pig, as she's lovingly known -- and you'll walk right up to that counter (or drive right up to that window if you're in Columbus) and order, "One sliced pork sandwich, please." And the rest is heaven.

The stew (Brunswick stew, for those readers who might not know) is good, too, as are the fries and the slaw and the tea. But it's the sandwich that truly rises to the occasion. Now, Edna Earl's not going to reveal exactly where she's from, but she will let you know that she's from a place where, well, there's a LOT of competition when it comes to barbeque. And Edna Earl's tellin' ya right now -- When it comes to the quintessential barbeque sandwich, there IS no competition. It's SMOKEY PIG, all the way.

Minnie's, Columbus, Georgia ***

Minnie's is a local institution in Columbus, and deservedly so. It's cafeteria-style -- You carry a tray through a line where the women servers behind the line ask you "Whatchoo want, Darlin?" "You want some gravy on that, Sweetie?" "Cornbread or biscuit, Honey?" This kinds talk gets on ol' sweet Edna Earl's nerves, to tell you the truth, but some folks seem to like it. And, oh yeah, it don't matter WHO you are -- you're gonna get the "Honey" and "Sweetie" and "Darlin" bit.

Food is good but not great. It's traditional Southern, cooked by somebody who is an okay cook but not one of the masters. (There are those whose Southern cooking is, somehow, by some mysterious stroke, a cut above the others. Minnie's is not one of those.) That is, it's okay, but it ain't inspired. Edna Earl suspects that many of the vegetables are of the canned or, at very best, frozen variety.

Minnie's dining room is huge, with several different rooms, actually, and you're liable to see anybody in there. Since Minnie's is near the courthouse, it's a favorite of the legal crowd.

Edna Earl has recently several times been put off by the fact that the place often smells of Lysol.

One thing Edna Earl does like about Minnie's is the fact that you get your own little pitcher of tea, so you don't have to depend on somebody to come fill your glass.

One thing Edna Earl doesn't like about Minnie's is the PLASTIC UTENSILS! Would it be too much trouble to have real forks and spoons and knives?! And styrofoam plates give Edna Earl the heebie-jeebies, too.

Still, Minnie's is a great place for a local experience.