One Eleven Grill, Madison FL *

Edna Earl’s hopes literally soared when she spied this inviting looking little café occupying a space in a row of historic buildings near the courthouse square in lovely downtown Madison, Florida. Yes, indeed, the café’s front door was most welcoming –
flanked by an ample arrangement of healthy potted plants, shaded by a bright awning, augmented by attractive red-checkered café curtains in the large windows on either side of the door itself. Once Edna Earl entered the place, though, her hopes faltered just a tad when she was struck by the thought that maybe somebody had tried a little too hard on the interior décor. Two HUGE new sofas faced each other smack dab in the middle of the dining room. The paint job on the plaster walls had endured a little too much attention (think “faux something”) and the art collection – well, EE was just relieved that there wasn’t much of it. Then, after EE was seated and got a glance at the menu, she knew she was in trouble. Quiche, salads, a few sandwiches, a burger, chicken pot pie. Now, anybody who knows Edna Earl knows that she LOVES a good quiche, a good sandwich, a good salad, a good chicken pot pie – and she’s even tolerant of a good burger. But Edna Earl’s concern over this café’s menu was in the details. Here’s an example: “pecan encrusted chicken salad with bleu cheese crumbles and apple slices and choice of curry or blueberry dressing.” Edna Earl’s assessment: Yuppieville. Last year’s “upscale.” Correction: Last decade’s “upscale.” Tired. Old. And, you know what? It wadn’t good then, and it ain’t good now. Edna Earl never ceases to be surprised at “chefs” who think that words are more important than food. Do they really think that because those words – pecans, chicken, lettuce, bleu cheese, apples, curry, blueberry, encrusted – sound good together that they’ll taste good together?

Well, guess what? They didn’t. That “pecan encrusted chicken salad” is, indeed, what Edna Earl wound up ordering, because the grilled grouper sandwich she first ordered turned out not to be available. Edna Earl’s husband, Earl Jenkins, ordered the chicken pot pie. Bad mistake. Edna Earl doesn’t know of any other way to put it except to say that that chicken pot pie simply did not taste good. Earl encouraged Edna to taste his pie, and EE concluded that the pie was missing an ingredient or two, but at the same time she decided that it contained an ingredient that didn’t belong. (Garlic? In a chicken pot pie? Please!)

Neither Edna Earl nor Earl cleaned his or her plate – which oughta tell ya somethin’.

EE and E did like the fact that some attention had been put into the serving dishes themselves. The chicken pot pie was served in this neat little bowl and saucer – and the crust looked good (a fact that is completely beside the point since in the taste department it fell far short).

Lastly, Edna Earl can’t leave this post without saying something about “Miss Jackie,” the woman who appeared to be in charge of this place. (Owner/chef, perhaps?) Early on in their One Eleven Grill experience EE and E had noticed that the sweet little girl who had seated them and served their beverages seemed to be intimidated by “Miss Jackie.” It was, indeed, because the sweet little girl referred to “Miss Jackie” several times that EE and E even knew “Miss Jackie’s” name. “Miss Jackie” was none too friendly when later she took the Jenkins’ order, but she completely did herself in when, after the meal was finally over, after Earl handed her the cash for the tab, “Miss Jackie” failed to mutter even so much as a thank-you.

Edna Earl has thought long and hard and decided that the best thing about One Eleven Grill is its façade – and the second best thing is the fact that there’s this very neat little independent bookstore about two doors down.

Suffice it to say that Edna Earl and Earl won’t waste any more of their valuable time at the One Eleven Grill in Madison, Florida. And you might not want to, either.

You get one star, One Eleven Grill, for your front door.