Big Jim's Oyster Bar, located in the swamps around Lake Seminole, about 15 miles below Donalsonville GA *****

Need Edna Earl even try to say more than this photo already says? Well, of course -- but later. In the meantime, just imagine for yourself -- and realize that Edna Earl has granted Big Jim's Oyster Bar (and here) the coveted compliment of FIVE STARS! Stay tuned to this very swamp.

Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant, Columbus GA ****

Just go ahead and call ol' Edna Earl nerdy, but her current favorite place to have lunch in Columbus is Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant and Natural Food Store. Run by Seventh Day Adventists from out at Yuchi Pines Institute, Country Life is a combination health food store and restaurant. Up front you can buy bulk items such as granola, beans, and rices, along with lots of packaged organic products. There’s even a room of “herbal supplements,” which Edna Earl herself never enters. (She’s not into those health food items dispensed in medicine bottles.)

Toward the back of the place is the cafeteria style restaurant where for $5.95 one can opt for the “Entrée Special” (Edna Earl’s favorite) or a loaded baked potato, or one of two delicious soups of the day, or a fake burger or hot dog, or the terrific salad bar. The Entrée Special includes the entrée of the day plus the two vegetables of the day plus bread plus a small salad. The entrée of the day might be anything from Penne Pasta with Tomato Sauce to Taco Casserole to Nut Loaf (a mock meat loaf made with an assortment of nuts – Yum!) – and it’s all vegetarian and it’s all super-healthy – and best of all, it’s GOOD!

Now, let it be known right here that ol’ Edna Earl is not a vegetarian. She does love her vegetables, and she definitely does severely restrict her intake of red meat – out of health considerations as well as ethical considerations as well as simple personal preference – but EE definitely does not profess to being a vegetarian. However, this vegetarian restaurant has great appeal to ol’ EE. Why? Because the food is good, the portions are hearty, and ol’ EE feels that she can eat well and guilt-free at Country Life. No worries about additives, about bad fats, about empty calories … Just good, healthy food – and a goodly portion of it at a ridiculously low price.

The downside of a dining experience at Country Life? The background music. Yep. The folks who run this place are very religious, and they tend to play this creepy music. Now, ol’ Edna Earl does love her some Methodist hymns, and of course she loves herself some good ol’ Southern gospel – but the kind of “new-agey” religious stuff they play at Counry Life just ain’t EE’s kind of thing. Except that EE does admit that of late she has noticed that the music doesn’t seem to be getting on her nerves as much as it used to. Whoa! Did Edna Earl just hear herself say that? Is Edna Earl perhaps becoming INDOCTRINATED? CONVERTED?!? God forbid! Let us go rush out to Smokey Pig Barbeque right this minute!

Edna Earl does appreciate the solace of Country Life, though, and the sunny little dining room, and the fact that all sorts of other weird folks eat lunch there, too. Long live Country Life Vegetarian Restaurant and Natural Foods Store. Edna Earl loves ya!

Niki's West, Birmingham, AL *****

website: Niki’s West, Birmingham, Alabama

Lord! Edna Earl doesn’t know where to begin! Maybe at the big ol’ meandering parking lot, which attests to the popularity of the place. Parking attendants stationed throughout the extens ive lot make sure that things do move right along, so you shouldn’t have too much trouble snagging a parking spot, even if you arrive at peak hours.

Located across the street from the Alabama Farmer’s Market in an industrial neighborhood sandwiched between two interstate highways, Niki’s is a one-story low-slung building which with its canvas awning that stretches from the front door out into the parking lot evokes supper clubs and steakhouses of the 50s.

Speaking of that front door, HUNDREDS of Birminghamians show up just about every time it is opened. And the clientele is diverse. You’ll see everybody from tiny blue-haired Birmingham ladies to businessmen (lots o’ businessmen) to lawyer-types to mechanics to big ol’ former jocks sporting “UAB Sports Medicine Center” badges. The last time I was there I saw a coupla characters who defied even ol’ Edna Earl’s description!

Niki’s West is, among many other things, an exercise in efficiency. From the parking lot through the serving line (Niki’s is cafeteria-style), through the seating method, through the check-out, Niki’s is a veritable study in efficiency. They have mastered the art. It is no telling how many folks Niki’s serves in a given hour on just about any day they’re open. And it doesn’t matter how many folks are in line when you arrive as a customer, you can be assured that you’ll be in and outta there, and well-fed, well within an hour. And, they have so much seating space that it’s okay to linger, too, should that be your pleasure.

When you go, try your very best to look way ahead of you up the line and scope the offerings of the day so that you’ll be ready to order when it’s your turn – ‘cause if you’re not ready, you’ll get “yelled at” by the big ol’ guys on the serving line. Well, “yelled at” might not be quite the right term – ‘cause they did call Edna Earl “Sugar” when they “encouraged” her – but these guys’ first priority seems to be to move folks on along.

Now for the food. If Edna Earl tried to list all the items that Niki’s offers, this post would run so long that – well, it’s a moot point because EE couldn’t list everything anyway. Let’s just say that on any given day Niki’s offers at least 8 meats, at least 20 vegetables, let's say around 30 salad items, a full array of desserts, and several breads. And everything Edna Earl has eaten there so far has been good! Niki’s mostly serves traditional Southern fare, but EE thought she detected a hint of “Greek.” And sure enough, after her first trip to Niki’s she did a little research and learned that indeed Niki is Greek. The family has apparently been in the restaurant business in Birmingham for a long time.

Edna Earl's research also yielded the fact that the Southern Foodways Alliance has interviewed members of the Niki’s family, and you can read that online if you’d like to:
http://www.southernfoodways.com

Edna Earl can’t leave Niki’s without saying a word about the women who run the check-out station – the cashiers. If ever ol’ Edna Earl saw two “dolled up” women, these are they! PLATINUM hair, tons of make-up, low-cut sparkly dresses, flashy nails, heaps of “jewelry” … You get the picture – and they take yo money and say a few kind words – encourage you to come back, that sort of thing. But even that is done efficiently. Those two Dolly Parton look-alikes are also the fastest two change-makers and card processors ol’ Edna Earl has ever encountered! EE really wanted to linger a bit in order to catch the “just between themselves” gossip these two were engaged in slightly beneath the volume of their public “thank you sirs” and “yall come backs,” but alas, ol’ Edna Earl was moved right along so efficiently that she didn’t have even a minute to eavesdrop. And everybody who knows anything about Edna Earl knows that eavesdropping is a major reason she even goes to a restaurant in the first place!

So will Edna Earl return to Niki’s West? Definitely. Time and time again. But not on a day when she wants a quiet, relaxing meal. Instead, she’ll go to Niki’s when she wants a huge choice of Southern/Greek-inspired fare, an even bigger helping of people-watchin’, and a totally energized, efficient dining experience.